June 16 2010
11:30 AM
Missing Vehicle Report
Portsmouth Va Naval Hospital

Missing Vehicle

KIA Sportage, dark gray.
Registered to Mike Blankenship...Property of Mrs Mary Blankenship
Suffolk Va
Vehicle has reported missing at 11:30 AM , Recovered after a hours search.

Reports were received from Mike Blankenship, reported, unconfirmed, Gathering of Eagles Grand Dragon, that his wife's KIA Sportage Van, dark gray in color, could not be found in the five level parking deck and he assumed it had returned to die in its native North Korea. After 25 laps on foot around the five level parking deck in 90+ degree heat Mr Blankenship requested assistance from security forces from Fort Samek NC. Mr Blankenship was then,with great effort, folded and placed into the rear seat of the Mustang to assist in the search for the vehicle.

Due to the heat induced confusion Mr Blankenship spotted four Honda..two Buick's, and a red VW Bug he thought matched the description of the vehicle. Alcohol abuse may have been a factor in his failure to determined red from dark gray, and the fact two of the Honda vehicles were pick up trucks.

As the Korean made KIA has no vehicle panic alarm device included to help find the missing vehicle the search required 250 laps around the parking deck to locate the missing vehicle. The good news is the Mustang averaged 28,7 MPG. The bad news is the screams from Mr Blankenship that he could no longer feel his toes due to the lack of leg room in the rear area of the Mustang only added to the confusion.

During the recovery efforts Mr Blankenship sobered up and spotted the vehicle when he saw the beer cans piled up to the rear window. Mrs Blankenship has called off the mob hit on Mr Blankenship and no warrants for the arrest of Mr Blankenship were requested by Mrs Blankenship, as she said Mike had suffered minor brain damage as a result of diving into their empty swimming pool to save a drowning can of Old English beer.

All is well that ends well and Mrs Blankenship stated Mr Blankenship would be allowed to drive her vehicle again "When Hell Freezes Over" and Mr Blankenship would be required to wear a helmet in the pool in the future. Mr Blankenship removed a five gallon gas can and hose from his vehicle and replaced the gas consumed during the recovery efforts.

Let us all pray Mr Blankenship will no longer purchase vehicles made in North Korea from Old English beer cans.

PS
Twelve laptops were recovered from the trunk of Mr Blankenship's vehicle and presented to our Marine and Navy Wounded Warriors.

George Samek..Esq.
Certified NC Bull Shipper
The Man,The Myth,The Legion

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning,
Satan shudders and says
"EVERYONE,QUIET,HE'S AWAKE !.